Let me start off by saying that I'm pretty troubled by the deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes.  Though I was a big a fan of Bernie's work and thought he was really funny, Isaac Hayes was/is pretty important to my contribution to my band. He was one of my favorite artists and wrote some of the dopest shit that I still cant stop listening to. He started out doing a lot of the musical arrangements for the artists on Stax Records as well as composing...

My favorite thing about him was that he knew how to re-make someones song and totally own it. For example take a song like 'Walk on By' or 'The Look of Love', both written by Burt Bacharach for Dusty Springfield and Dionne Warwick, I bet the last thing Burt thought of when he wrote them was that they would be funky as fuck and over 10 minutes long. Sorry Burt, but although they're great from a groovy 60's swinger perspective, Isaac bodied you on these. Just sayin (shrug) if you dont know his work you need to get on it. Start with 'Hot Buttered Soul'. Thanks Ike, your shit sounds just like a 69 continental. Word.  Anyone remember the joint he did with Wu-tang? Not a highlight, but fuck it.

ANYWAYSSSS...this week I wanna talk about one of my other favorite shoes ever, The Adidas Concord. Pure heat. The shoe is at least 10 years old and I will always be looking for a pair. Currently I own two, a navy blue with white stripes and a pair in snakeskin. Unfortunately, my punk ass doesn't have the technology to post them on the net so I'm using file photos of shoes that are the same but different colors. You'll be aight. Both of my Concords have stomped all over some great and awkward situations in my life. Two of them come to mind that I would like to share with you.

The blue ones remind me of the time...
 
(Flashback)

This girl I know called me up to ask me if I knew of any percussionists that wanted a to do some work on this film.  My friend Duma Love from Cibo Matto had just gotten into town and was looking to make some money. She told me to have him contact her asap, so I see him and tell him about the job and the money, gave him the number, my part was done. A few days later she calls me in a mild panic telling me he never called, I was pretty sure he needed the money so I told her "I'm sure he'll call but when I see him, I'll remind him", she stressed that she needed to hear from him in the next two days. No problem I run into him, remind him, he assures me, my part is done. The next day she calls me at like midnight telling me that he never called. I felt like a total dick and, worried that I might have left her hanging, I agreed to do it. I had to be on set at 8am and sent me an MP3 of the song I had to learn. It was 1:13 long tabla part, an instrument from India that most people spend their entire lives TRYING to perfect. I had roughly 6 hours, which meant I would try in the morning. So make it an hour and a half. I tell her about the tabla shit and she tells me not to worry. So I didn't. I'm lying. I was totally worried about being on camera palying myself. Fast forward to 8am. I'm at this warehouse in Carroll Gardens, I rocked my blue and white concords for the film. Ready to do this shit,poorly. I'm listening and looking around. Theres like, a bear skin rug and a washing machine about 15 feet away. but...no drums, I go over to the director and ask him where they are. He laughs and puts his arm around this girl "right here" was his response. I laughed and went into make-up to get my arms and hands done because they weren't going to show my face. Thank god. I come out of make up and the girl is on the rug butt ass naked eating a danish. What? That muthafucka was serious! So I'm like "Cool this girl is naked and I have to play drums for her?" My friend is like, "No stupid ass you have to play on her." So I end up playing these tabla patterns on her ass for this fetish video. At first I was slapping her ass along to the playback of the recording but her ass was starting to get red, so I had to simulate which made it even harder because I was bent over her and trying to stay balanced. Plus she was in a really uncomfortable postion and cramping, ot to mention the hot ass lights and the people who just want you to get it finished. I did that shit for like 3 hrs. Seriously. Halfway through I didn't even care about the naked girl I just wanted to get it over with and bounce. It was some pretty unsexy shit but I think I got either 200 or 300 bucks for smacking ass (which I consider to be a hobby). Anyway I had to give a name so I chose a porn name for myself. BEEF AXELROD muthafucka what?

GO Here click on DRUMBUM

The other story involves none other than the man himself, R. KELLY. After "kells" had the premier screening of 'Trapped in the Closet Two' at the IFC theater, he had the after party at the Gansevoort Hotel in the meatpacking district. I went with my family, Jaleel (Tv on the Radio), Wilder (Chin Chin), David Cross (Arrested Development), Moist Paula (Moisturizer), and Greg (The guy who wrote 'He's just not that Into You") Yeah I'm name dropping. So fuckin what? That night I had the snakeskin joints on.

The party was pretty amazing. Beverly Bond was the dj and more importantly they had the best hors d'oeuvres I've had in a while. Little mini burgers, crabcakes, chicken skewers and shit. We were all having a pretty awesome time. Jaleel had met 'Kells' before so we somehow ended up sitting in his tent. He seemed really nice, introduced himself to everyone, and talked as if there was no party. If you know what I mean. The first thing that came to my mind was the commentary from trapped in the closet 1. If you've never seen that you need to really get to work. The second thing was, "Damn this dude has been accused of some unsavory shit," but I couldn't stop looking at him. I dont think I was starstruck I was just "struck". At the same time I was like, "Fuck this dude, he did some shit and he needs to pay." I was torn because I love his work and in some ways I think 'kells' is a genius but I felt a little like a dick rider for sitting in this tent with him. I tried not to make eye contact. I was pretty close too. David Cross was on the other side of my booth doing god knows what but I was more focused on R kelly. I think 'kells' caught wind of this because he stopped whatever he was doing and we finally made eye contact. I thought he was upset with me, or maybe wanted me thrown out. Oh shit. He leans forward and looks me straight in the eye and says "Y'all want some crabcakes?" I almost melted. Sorry if I sound like a bitch, but just the fact that he said that was dope enough, let alone it be the 'kells'. Thats my R Kelly experience. Hopefully yours will be better. "What they eat dont make us shit." nuff said. Milton!