Oh hai.
 
Remember me? No?
 
I'm the li'l producer-slash-rapper guy that signed to Def Jux a couple of years back...still don't remember? Well, play along for now.
 
It's been brought to my attention that my presents on the Jux website was sorely lacking, so here is my gift to you: me (Editor's note: we said "presence", not "presents", but luckily it works either way.) It's also been brought to my attention that it's been taking far too long for me to release my album with the label. I'm happy to inform the three or four people still checking for me that my project will definitely be released this year, and that my first single "Just Friends" is available for purchase right now! Look out for the second single with Mr. Lif in a few weeks.
 
As evidenced by the hundreds of e-mails I've received in the past two years (half of them were from me...wait, wat), inquiring minds would certainly like to know what has been the hold-up this whole time. Well, I'm breakin' my silence: here are the Official Ten Reasons Why My Album Has Been Delayed And Delayed Again For So Long (or, the Yeah That's Right My Album Ain't Come Out Yet What You Wanna Fight About It.. list):
 
1. Gene Shalit.
 
2. my pet Rupert gave birth to piglets! They were delicious.
 
3. got side-tracked doing bit parts in "Entourage". No Saigon-o.
 
4. signed up for a course in Suspended Animation and failed miserably.
 
5. reading "The Tao of Pooh" took a hell of a lot longer than I thought.
 
6. wanted to drop an album on February 29 but I changed my mind after realizing how far away 2012 was.
 
7. voice-overs for Mucinex commercials kept my pockets fat and my sinuses fatter.
 
8. I owed El-P $13 this entire time.
 
9. 17 counts of petty theft have had me ducking the law for months. If I step foot in New York, Connecticut, Maryland, Maine, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Florida, Rhode Island, South Dakota or any of the commonwealths I'm f**ked.
 
10. took time to return to school and finish up my degree in BEING TOTALLY F**KING AWESOME, OKAY?!?!
 
Fortunately there shouldn't be any more delays! If there are, you'll read it here first (and on TMZ second). Check back every Wednesday for my reports on the cool, the not-so-cool, and the sweet-Jesus-I-can't-believe-he-posted-yet-another-picture-of-Kate-Winslet-on-his-blog-is-he-obsessed-with-her-or-something-I-mean-come-on. Peace y'all!