Despot 'answers' a myriad of your most pressing questions. If you want Despot to answer YOUR question please send it to defcon@definitivejux.net, using 'ask despot anything' in the subject line.

Miguel asks: -Will you ever do any left coast touring?
-Will this be the year that you realease a full cd?
-Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot, he himself could not eat it?
Despot: Miguel, I am glad you are asking the hard hitting questions that need to be asked. First, yes I will. In fact, I just did some and now I am back on the right coast. -By this I mean the correct coast. -By this I mean whichever coast I am on at any given moment. Second, I bet it will be; except I wouldn't bet on that. It is not easy thinking of entertaining ways to tell you to like me over and over and over again. Third, shouldn't we take this philosophical and religious query one step further and ask if said burrito would be god? Shouldn't we then answer with yes? If we are answering shouldn't we take that question mark off the end? a box within a box within a box.

Duncan Jewett aka Rich Chinaman asks: Howdy, Spot As a post-apocalyptic artist in such a chaotic time, do you hold any definitive beliefs of our soon to be future as a culture?Are you familiar with the Mayan prophecy of the year 2012?
(Also, I realize that 'Chinaman' is not the preferred nomenclature.)
Despot: I didn't know I was a post-apocalyptic artist. Let me begin by congratulating myself (and presumably you) for surviving the apocalypse that we have always heard so much about. Now that we are quite possibly the only two people left on this earth, I will answer your questions. I definitively believe that our future as a culture is me. Considering that it has to be either me or you, I'm going to say it's me. Moving forward, I am familiar with said prophecy. All of the bees are dying. It will come to pass. BUT! It doesn't matter. Because if we already survived one apocalypse what's one more apocalypse? Just me and you, rich oriental man. just me and you. Like two brave cockroaches.

K. Aadil asks: When's the album coming or any new material for that matter?
Despot: I am glad you asked this question. The album, I'm not sure. New material, I have heard talk of Polartec producing something even MORE groundbreaking than fleece in the coming years. Remember when fleece was invented? insulated clothing hasn't been the same ever since. I'm on the edge of my seat.

Jsbalbanese asks:
Mr. Despot,
Two questions:
Why haven't you dropped your album yet? You told us thrice it would be done
already!
and
Why the fuck can't I find a job? Despot: I could make the obligatory joke here about how, if I dropped it, I might break it. So that's why I didn't do it. What I mean by didn't do it is make that joke AND drop my album. Even though I sort of made that joke. Does that mean I sort of dropped my album? Perhaps you can find a job finding out what I am trying to say here.

William Battle asks:
Despot, its been a long time when is your album going to come out?
Despot: I am glad you asked this question. This question has never been asked before in quite this manner. I would like to formally thank you for asking this way before I answer.

Druggalo asks:
What advice can you give on tuning into reptilian frequencies?
Despot: You have unwittingly answered your own question with the ad attached to the bottom of your email. "Wondering what's for Dinner Tonight? Get new twists on family favorites at AOL Food." The secret is AOL Food.

'Greasy' Grant Oddoye asks:
Dear Despot,
If you had to match a different planet in the solar system to each of the Def Jux members - in terms of their astrological significance and characteristics - which planets would be matched to which members, and why? Despot: Grant, there are only 8 planets in the solar system now. I am sure you are aware of that. What you are asking me to do here is neglect a handful of my friends and colleagues when I run out of planets to liken them to. This would be a great insult to your parents. Thank you for your question.

James Moening asks:
If asked to choose between making peace with yourself and living in seclusion or living with others at the expense of peace, what should one choose? Despot: Look man, when your roommates leave a whole bunch of dirty dishes in the sink it's not the end of the world. If it really bothers you that much just clean them yourself.

Chris Schammert:
Alright so I've been looking for a pet. You know, something to keep guard of the house and protect my young. I've checked out all kinds of dogs and guinea pigs and none of them really clicked. Then I got to thinking, I heard you all have a ton of alligators underneath the city. Is it possible to email me one in an attachment, I'm talking somewhere between ten and twenty feet in length. Or maybe in a fax? Either way is good for me, let me know.
- Leroy
Despot:
Dearest Leroy, your name is Chris. Now that we've powered through that iron curtain, I will answer your question. It is indeed common knowledge that our sewers are overrun with alligators. And shit. Alligator shit. Do you use gmail? I use gmail. They limit your attachment size to five feet last I checked. My parents have a fax machine. I'll get back to you.

Patrick Brogan asks:
Are vegetarians allowed suckle ice sculptures shaped as ducks or is that considered taboo?
'Keep your kids safer online with Windows Live Family Safety. Help protect your kids.' Despot: Please don't tell me what to do with my kids, Patrick.

Ben asks:
Why do you always scream my name (ben) when i see you ?
Despot:
BEN!!