The older I get, the more I realize that people don’t really know shit about shit. Every day of your life, someone tells you about some bullshit they feel is important. The thing is, none of that shit matters, and people are usually wrong about all the things they recommend that you do or don’t do. 

I remember when an eighteen year old Alaska was on the verge of graduating high school, after a stellar career that had me ranked in the last third of the class with the great prospect of attending a shitty Junior College in upstate New York. I didn’t really want to go to college—honestly I had no idea what I wanted to do—but people kept telling me if I wanted a happy life I had to go to college. So I did, and six years later I finally graduated from SUNY at New Platz with a bachelor’s degree. Guess what I learned there that has helped me in my life? Give up yet? Absolutely nothing that I couldn’t have figured out on my own. I have learned more about life and how things work while getting drunk at a bar with friends and colleagues since my college graduation, which is what I guess college is all about at the end of the day. Yet people tell you all the time that booze is bad for you. Really? If it wasn’t for booze, ninety seven percent of all business deals would not go down, forty seven percent of all children would not have been conceived, sixty eight percent of the important connections one makes over the years would never have been made, and every great book, song, or movie would have sucked.

Sure, you need to go to college and shouldn’t drink too much if you want to be a doctor, dentist, lawyer or architect. But for the rest of the world, why are we wasting what is now hundreds of thousands of dollars on an education that doesn’t do a god damn thing for you except get your parents off your case and makes you feel better than the guy who’s working for the town hauling garbage. My suggestion to you is this: spend your senior year of high school trying to figure out what you would like to do with your life. Once you think you have a clue, try to get an internship in that field. I remember at my first ad agency job there was a guy that was younger than me who did just that. He started working as an intern at this agency, and by the time he was twenty two he had a great job at the agency, four years of experience, and was earning close to six figures. Meanwhile, I went to college for six years plus a year of grad school, and here I am at age twenty five, making chump change at an entry level position and answering to this prick.

I further suggest that you listen to me and not your teacher and/or guidance counselor, because—let’s face it—if they knew a god damn thing they wouldn’t be working with a bunch of ungrateful kids who think they know a gang of shit because they are really good at Guitar Hero and have a fucking iPhone. When you get older friends, you will see that nine out of ten teachers are just people that like to smoke a lot of pot, and are therefore very comfortable making $45K a year if it means they get summers off to smoke pot and finish the book they have been working on since their second year of grad school back in 1987. For every teacher that affects your life in a positive way, there are three or four that just want to bully kids and drain the life and passion out of them like the world did to them. And people call teachers the real heroes...seriously?

I will try to bring you one of these on a weekly basis, because there are a ton of stupid shit that miserable people like to trick you into doing because they did it, and it makes them feel better about their lives if others are forced to do the same shit—like marriage, religion, having kids, taking shit from your boss, etc. I hope you look as forward to our talks as I do.

If you have any questions or need advice with your life please, feel free to send me an email at timlaska@yahoo.com and I will try to include them in future pieces.

I will leave you with this video I have been enjoying. It combines a movie I love with a song I didn’t realize I loved until I recently heard it again.