I've always fancied myself a peaceful man. I am not a war-monger or a big fan of fighting. In fact, I hate the way I feel after a fight, win or lose. I don’t like the adrenaline rush that comes from a fight. I always feel like I am going to throw up when it’s done. That being said, much like Clint Eastwood or The Duke, I know that sometimes a man has to fight.

It is an important part of the human experience which has been dangerously eliminated from American life over the past decade or so. I don’t know when it started, but people don’t get their comeuppances any more, and that is a major problem for our country. Maybe it’s because kids started bringing guns to school, or maybe it’s because parents have made our children soft by overprotecting them. I’m pretty sure people bringing guns to school are a symptom of the latter.  

Kids are raised today in a bubble of entitlement. They are given participation trophies for playing in a youth soccer league where every game ends in a tie. They are raised in an environment so sterile, their immune systems are weakened to the point that wheat and peanuts can kill them. Teachers are chastised for using red ink because it makes kids feel bad about writing a shitty paper. Parents give their kid’s emotions and feelings so much creedence, that they are now begging young Max or Cody to not hit mommy because it makes her feel bad. On top of that, kids no longer get their asses beat when they act like dicks.  

This is one of the biggest problems we face as Americans. Columbine was the first introduction we had to these entitled pricks, and it is only going to get worse. People want to blame this on bullying, or music, or violent video games, but I don’t see it. In no way do I condone bullying. However, it has been around forever. I don’t know a single person who has not been a victim of bullying in one form or another. Back in the day, if a person couldn’t handle the bullying or alienation, they would just off themselves and not take out the entire math club. I blame this change in M.O. on parents raising their kids in this protective bubble of entitlement.  

The kids are raised so soft and with so few boundaries that they don’t understand that getting your ass kicked is a natural part of life. It makes you a stronger person. It’s what drives you to succeed and make enough money to buy and sell those bullying motherfuckers, who are now working for the Dept. of Sanitation making $29,000 a year, half of which is going to alimony and child support after a failed marriage to some pig of a woman who used to be the home coming queen. Now she is just a beast who wears nothing but khaki shorts and tank tops with flabby arms the size of Hulk Hogan’s twenty-eight inch pythons.  

The Aesop Rock and Chin Chin show [at McCarren Pool] this past weekend inspired this rant. There were no acts of random violence, in fact there was no violence at all, although there should have been. The day itself was spectacular. Wonderful weather, amazing shows by the performers, delicious beer, old friends, and beautiful women. Unfortunately the day was also marred by the self important and oblivious fuckers I addressed in previous paragraphs. Out of the thousands of people at the show, there was a very small percentage that was running around randomly spraying people with water guns. Granted, this is a relatively small offense, but it is a symptom of people not getting their asses kicked. If these swine got socked in the nose a few times as a kid for doing dumb shit, they wouldn't be running through the crowd spraying people who didn’t want to be sprayed with water guns. I promise you, when I am elected King of the Universe, these people will be rounded up and subjected to re-education: getting their asses kicked by the high school football team’s starting QB and the kid that smokes cigarettes in the school parking lot. That’s the Timlaska guarantee.

Now on to the advice:

We only had one question this week, you guys really need to step your game up.        

Tim, I live in Waterbury, CT and I think it’s a boring place (for my age of 17) what do you suggest to do for fun?
William Battle
Waterbury, CT

Well William, I don’t know much about Waterbury other than it is the home of legendary whitey rapper Miilkbone, who dubbed it “the Waterburial grounds,” which is super clever. So I hit up Wikipedia to do some research on Waterbury. It is the fifth largest city in Connecticut and the home of such attractions as Carrie Welton Fountain, Waterbury Clock Company, and the TIMEXpo Museum. However none of these thrilling attractions can hold a candle to...

Holy Land USA!
    Holy Land USA was an 18 acre park in Waterbury, CT representing a miniature Jerusalem and Bethlehem. It was one of Connecticut’s biggest tourist attractions in the 1960s and 1970s with 50,000 visitors per year. Holy Land USA was built in the 1950s by local attorney John Baptist Greco. The 50' cross was designed and built by Frank Veto Lyman. This steel cross was once lit up purple for Lent and red for the Christmas season. Holy Land USA closed in 1984 and the plaster, wire caves and structures are now in miserable shape. Some local residents wish to see the place restored while others want it razed and turned into a park.

    On November 20, 2002, Comedy Central's "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" spoofed Holy Land in a segment with correspondent Stephen Colbert satirically comparing the park to Israel.
The cross is one of Waterbury's most beloved and prominent landmarks. Illuminated at night, it was a beacon seen from many homes and thousands of motorists passing daily on highways below. Pilots even used it for orientation.

    In April of 2008, workmen took down the former cross, which had become unstable from years of weathering and repeated attacks by vandals. The Religious Teachers Filippini, an order of nuns that owns the property, paid $250,000 to have it replaced with a cross that is a little shorter, a bit thinner, but more durable. In addition, the cross is not illuminated like the previous ones instead it is lit by surrounding flood lights.
    On June 18, 2008 the new 50 foot cross was blessed and rededicated by Archbishop Henry J. Mansell. The new cross is actually the third giant cross to grace the site. The original was 32 feet tall and was erected in 1956. The cross was dedicated to world peace in a ceremony attended by 1,200 people in November of that year. It was the beginning of Holy Land. That original cross was replaced in 1968, by a cross of steel girders and plastic that housed fluorescent lights that reached 56-feet into the sky. That cross was dedicated to peace and also to the slain John and Robert Kennedy.
    Today, much of what was Holy Land is in ruins. Broken pavement lines the road winding through the property. Yellow tape blocks access to displays, many of which have been smashed by vandals. While the site is officially off-limits, people still skirt no-trespassing signs to visit.

I suggest you and some friends get together, dress all gothy and hold mock satanic masses up there. Maybe even listen to some Satanic Norwegian Death Metal during the service. If that doesn’t float your boat, then I suggest getting a fake I.D. and you and your buddies cough up some bread for some cheap beer. Bored high school kids have been doing it for years, it’s a sure fire way to make the days go faster until you can get the fuck outta dodge.

As always, if you have any questions or need any advice you hit me up at timlaska@yahoo.com