Sweeping Generalizations with Blockhead: Rent is the worst and I love being right about it

Posted on 07/25/2008

rent.jpg

You know when you form an opinion based on very little and stand by it like you could write a book on the subject? Sweeping generalizations and unjustified judgments. Gotta love them. If you're like me, you do this shit all the time and don't think twice about it.

 

It's kinda like a quick way of editing out all the bullshit that leads to an educated opinion. Honestly, I find out I'm right about 85% of the time. That's a 'B+', not bad at all...But a lot of times you being right is still arguable to someone. So it's a sweet feeling when you find out you're 100% right and no one can tell you shit. Case in point; The play/movie 'Rent'.

Inexplicably , 'Rent' has consistently popped up in my life over the passed ten plus years. Which is very random, considering 1) No other musical really has ever gotten more then a passing grimace from me 2) I've never seen it. Back when I was twenty, I was dating this girl who sang. She tried out for 'Rent', got like seven call backs and basically lost the roll when it came down to a choice between her and the girl that would go on to get it. At the time, I was very supportive. I didn't know anything about 'Rent' except that it was a musical about tough times in some made up bohemian version of the Lower East Side. With that knowledge, I pretty much knew enough to stay away. Still, I was fully prepared to see multiple showings of it had my girl gotten the roll. Luckily for me, she didn't.

 

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A year or so later, I finally got my first taste at what 'Rent' was really about while driving somewhere with one of my sisters and a niece. They decided to play the soundtrack to 'Rent' in the car. I listened to about one and a half songs and made them take it off. It wasn't like a "Enh..this is kinda wack.." reaction, it was more of a 'Are you fucking kidding me????' reaction. After that, I still never saw it but I would curse it whenever it came up in conversation. It became this thing that I could not only judge in itself but judge those who like it. IE: You like 'Rent', you're a total fucking idiot. It's that simple.

I put this judgmental fervor to use the last time it came up. I was walking back from a basketball game with a team I was playing with. We were in midtown and passed where 'Rent' was playing. While passing the sign I said something in the realm of, "Fuck this shit!" Suddenly one of the guys I played with and his girlfriend turned to me like I had just killed a baby seal. "You don't like Rent?????!!!! You're crazy! It's brilliant! " They literally refused to talk to me after that. In hindsight, this was fine because, for one, they liked 'Rent' and I don't consort with those types of people and also because fuck them. The fact they loved that shit was enough for me to officially write them off forever. Again, keep in mind, I still hadn't seen a second of it yet.

 

Years later, the film version of 'Rent' was released. My waning hatred was slightly refueled but I also didn't really give a shit because I had no plans of ever seeing it. Until...

a few years after that...

I was chilling at my crib one day, eating while waiting for friends to come over, when I see that the movie 'Rent' is on cable. Oh snap! It's a bold step to actually come face to face with something you've so adamantly bashed for so long (and have not seen) but I felt I had to just to prove to myself I wasn't popping shit for no reason all these years. I watch it. I change it. I turn back and watch some more. I'm sweating. I change it. I turn back. This repeats for a while, I'm not sweating cause I'm worried that my anti-'Rent' stance has been wrong all these years. No, I'm sweating cause the level of complete fucking terribleness is giving me an anxiety attack. THAT SHIT IS THE WORST PIECE OF FLAMING DOG SHIT EVER MADE BY ANYONE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE PLANET. Talk about feeling an inner peace...I wanted someone to be there with me so I could look at them like "Are you watching this shit?" But no..I just sat there on my couch alone, squeezing the
remote control in disgust, and looking away every so often when the songs would get just too fucking ridiculous. It's an ill vibe to be sitting alone and blushing. My relationship with 'Rent' is kinda like when you meet someone and immediately hate them for no real reason...Then, down the line, their inner asshole comes out and you feel super validated by your flash judgement.

 

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'Rent', you have not only validated me, but reinforced that opinion to the level of fact. It's a fact that 'Rent' is the worst thing ever made. You could bring in the world's finest debate team in and let them at me but there's nothing anyone can say that would make me question that fact for a millisecond. I think they could hit me with a 250 page thesis on why 'Rent' is a success (or even merely a thesis on how rent is the second worst thing ever) and I'd win just by saying "Shut the fuck up."

 

Here's an equation that explains my point:

 

'2+2' is to '4'
as
'Rent' is to 'Unequivocally the worst'

 

Fact.

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Comments

amen to that shit

Posted on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 15:23 by: alaska (not verified)

I couldnt agree more. ive never seen rent but ive seen people with rent tshirts and they suck....ive never spoke to them but i dont need to. its a no brainer. good job block.

Flaming Dog-Shit, indeed

Posted on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 16:54 by: Anonymous (not verified)

Yeah, Rent sounds almost as scintillating as an evening at home, watching Witless Protection. Momma actually thought I would WANT to watch that shite when was home on R & R. Ugh..

Huh.

Posted on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 13:09 by: Apoc (not verified)

Okay, so I liked 'Rent' and I've met plenty of people who didn't. That's fine, people are entitled to their opinion. But it's beyond fucked up to write people off--hell, to downright hate them--simply because of their choice of musicals. I think it's fucking ridiculous and I never imagined you as the type of person to be so incredibly narrow-minded. Jesus, man, this goes beyond narrow-minded; this is, like, some next-level fascism shit. You could start a fucking movement with that kind of zeal.

On a similar note, how the fuck is it that people can bash 'Rent' while 'Grease,' which is equally if not more corny and cliche than the former, is supposedly some fucking godsend to the stage? Yeah, it was good, but it's no fucking 'Les Miserables.' Good christ, people make no goddamn sense.

End.

well...

Posted on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 17:00 by: blockhead (not verified)

i'd feel bad about this but you like "Rent" so, you know, how bad can i feel?
seriously, musicals are the beyond terrible and i truly do think there is something wrong with people who like them.but think about what you're getting mad at here: that i hate "rent". yes, it is overboard for me to judge people by the fact they like "rent". perhaps i'm hyperbolizing a touch to prove a point and/or make a joke? maybe?
in reality, there are plenty of things worse then "Rent" : rape, war, starvation, bigotry, umm..hmm..wait, that's about it. so, i apologize, it turns out "Rent" is the fifth worst thing ever. my bad.

Rent? Eviction.

Posted on Sun, 07/27/2008 - 06:41 by: Option To Buy (not verified)

I consider myself a very open-minded person. When Chicago won a grip of Oscars 5,6 years ago, and a friend who runs a hiphop site told me he and his wife enjoyed it, I figured I'd give it a shot. It was difficult to sit through. I find all musicals very difficult to watch. That's just me. Except for Breakin' and Breakin' 2:Electric Boogaloo. Yeah, they actually get categorized as musicals, strangely enough.
My wife is into Rent. Our babysitter is obsessed with it. One day they sat in our living room discussing it for a while. I don't get it.

not a surprise, but those IN rent are...

Posted on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 17:29 by: Anonymous (not verified)

total freaking douchebags.

this one dude, joshua something or another, played an acoustic set at my college years back when i was 19. i was trying to get him to agree to do a writing workshop with the lit mag i ran, since i was young and somehow thought he had some level of talent or authority on writing (mind you, i'd never read his stuff, but oh he was in rent). well, i offered to smoke him up, which he jumped at. then he hit on me. (mind you, i was 19, and he was over 30). then security for my university came due to the smell of our smoke, and i was written up/he was escorted off campus. later down the line i asked him to claim it was his, since the university would never contact the authorities regarding these matters and he was banned from campus anyway. i knew because i worked in the department that handled these matters, and knew all of their procedures. it would have amounted to a little paper being put into a file being filed in a drawer in the basement of a building, and never to be seen again until we took it out 7 years later and shredded it. so....i ask him to do that for me since i was a kid and my parents would be contacted if the university concluded it was mine. my parents, for the record, are the type to pull college funding for such transgressions. so...instead of just telling me no, which i would have honored, he says he'd think about it and get back to me. then he doesn't, and instead he calls the university and tells them i asked him to lie for me. douchebag. so freaking unnecessary. luckily i happened upon the internal memo before my "hearing" with the dean, so i was able to have a leg-up and not get screwed for lying. i ended up coming clean, but boy did i make it clear that mr. 30+ rent douchebag was running around campus trying to get into little girls' panties, smoking whatever was provided, and generally being a fuckface. god i wish i could remember his last name....joshua who was in rent around 2002. my parents nearly disowned me.

i too have never seen the play or movie, and have no desire to do so. the entire concept of it turns my stomach. and all i've crossed who like, support, or contribute to it possess a special quality of ugliness and complete douchebaggery that cannot be denied. but what can be expected from those who in any way associate themselves with rent...

thanks, blockhead.

Posted on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 13:20 by: nwmn (not verified)

i've wondered if i should ever watch 'rent'. now i know it's a bad idea. and besides, doesn't everyone get AIDS and die or something? maybe 'rent' should get AIDS and die. do us (and you) a favor.

you really should write a book, man.

duh

Posted on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 03:12 by: Anonymous (not verified)

we have all known for the longest that rent sucks worse than a teething baby. hate on something less obvious. i know you have it in you blockhead.

Gouge my ears & eyes with a jumbo crayon

Posted on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 02:59 by: Pepe (not verified)

As the survivor of a horrendous 7 year nightmare romantically attached to a musical junkie, I have been tortured into watching "Moulin Rouge," "The Fiddler On the Roof," & of course "Rent." I had to put my foot down, & stomp on that blazing piece of shit, refusing adamantly to watch the movie. I was considering my options: what could I do to put myself in a hospital, or cataleptic coma, long enough for the U.S. Government to finally get to the root of what is corrupting our youth, & at the same time dumbing down the populace? Were my house at the time tall enough to acquire a serious injury (cranial concussion, spinal displacement, even a broken toe) I would have launched myself head first from the apex of my tenement. Dear lord, I hate her for making me sit thru this garbage, and if there weren't a statute of limitations, I would have sued her for molesting my fragile grip on sanity, and the hours of my life I lost witnessing this display of grueling idiocy. Thanks for being right, Block. Peace.

duh

Posted on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 02:50 by: haterlicious (not verified)

we have all known forever that rent sucks worse than a teething baby. find something less obvious to hate on. i know you have it in you blockhead.

The truth

Posted on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 02:28 by: Captain cavemon (not verified)

Seriously, even gay people have no excuse to like it. 'RENT' is so completely bad it should have its own category.

I concur.

Posted on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 21:37 by: Kb (not verified)

Rent is really bad and I hang out with many gay dudes. Alot of them hate it as well. It's meant for fat desperate fruit flies.

You would take the medal for

Posted on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 21:24 by: cupcake (not verified)

You would take the medal for that debate. I totally agree.Never saw it, my aunt gave it to me like 5 years ago and it sits lost somewhere on the shelf, still wrapped in its plastic. Way to be brave, I dont think I could handle it.

flaming dog shit,eh

Posted on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 21:20 by: Anonymous (not verified)

flaming dog shit,eh

above

Posted on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 21:16 by: Prolific Memorie (not verified)

Yes, i myself have agreed with you on that for years, you couldn't pay me to sit through the crap.

pieces of later,
memorie

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