How to Maintain your Booty Call without Driving the Guy Away in Fear....

 

Some guy wrote a book called He's Just Not that into You. I never read it but from what I know, the guy who wrote it was a writer on Sex in the City so I'm gonna assume it's a worthless piece of shit. Without actually reading it, I've gathered the book is about how women often misconstrue a man's intentions when they first start hooking up (or "dating" for all for all you old timey motherfuckers). I recently had two separate conversations about this very topic;

 

 

One was with a friend of mine who recently hooked up with a girl and she immediately wouldn't leave him alone. The other was with a girl who is single and hates when guys assume every girl they meet wants to be their girlfriend. Obviously, I'm a man so I'm not to familiar with the ladies point of view on this. So, just to clarify for all you girls out there who simply want to just "hang out" with a guy and not get too deep, here's some rules to live by:

1) Break Out -

 

When you wake up in his bed, prepare to be out. Have morning sex, chit chat a little, even have breakfast. But after that, YOU MUST LEAVE. Nothing has turned me away from girls like the clingy morning after. The thing is, with guys, it's not like we hate you in the morning and we want you to get out of our faces, it's more we just wanna chill. Take a dump, watch some TV, call some friends. These are all things we'd rather do alone (at least for the time being). If you truly are not trying to be a dude's girl, then this should be of no issue to you. In fact, you should WANT to bounce. You got shit to do, right? More then once I've left my house with a girl and walked around the block just so she'd leave. Not cause I didn't like her, but cause me saying "it's time for you to go" just wouldn't fly. Overstaying your welcome is a speedy way to dissed-ville.

 

 

 

 

2) Crossing the Boundaries -

When two people are in a leisurely booty call type of relationship, there are certain invisible lines drawn. One is to not see each other more then once a week, MAYBE twice if you're both at the same place twice and you both feel like boning. One of the kisses of death is the unwanted phone call. I've had perfectly good booty call type relationships flushed away when I felt a boundary was crossed. A daytime phone call? Not the move. Asking to hang out the day after we just hung out? Bad move. Both of those things make men feel like you want more then just sex. Even if you're literally calling the next day saying "I just wanna have sex", we don't read it like that. We see that as you wanting this to progress farther then we're willing to take it. It's an early warning flag. I'd advise you ladies to really get into texting, it's way more casual and less threatening to our sensitive male minds.

 

3) Sex is Just Sex -

 

One of the main (and unfortunate) differences between men and women is a guy can have sex with one girl tons of times and not catch feelings, I mean for YEARS.  While girls can have casual sex just like anyone else, I've yet to come across a girl who wants to be the lifetime booty call.

 

 

Understandably so, but still, it's a big difference. I realize this is a well known thing but I feel like girls forget it. Just cause a guy wants to sleep with you, does not mean anything more than that. He might like your ass or be coming out of a draught or drunk.  I'm not saying girls don't sleep with random dudes all the time but you can rest assured the majority of those random dudes are not pining over the girl the next day. They might try and bone again but the connection ends there (at least for the time being).

 

 

4) Slow Down -

 

What's with all this quick falling in love bullshit? Men and women do it. How the fuck can anyone feel that strongly about another person in such a short period of time? I suppose some people are just looking for it. But if you ever hook up with someone you don't know particularly well and they are all of a sudden acting like they love you, break out and dead it as soon as possible. It's for the betterment of both of you.

 

5) PDA -

 

Drunkenly making out happens. It's how one night stands and booty call relationships pop off in most cases. But little things like hand holding with a booty call...not the move. I'm just saying...it's a bad look. For some reason, there's a deeper intimacy that goes with hand holding. I don't know why but there just is. How do you think all those "No Sex Till Marriage" types hold out so well? Hand holding...and blow jobs with a little anal thrown in.

 

6) No Crying Allowed -

 

 

The biggest red flag of all is when a girl cries. It tends to happen when they're drunk and it's the emotional equivalent to barfing into a guys mouth. The second that upper lip starts to quiver and the eyes start to water, EVERY guy thinks the same thing. "fuck this bullshit...". Rules were made and agreed on. Entering into a care free relationship is like signing a pact. However, once those tears flow, all bets are off.

 

Maybe it's your body freaking out cause it cannot handle the situation it's being put in. That's fine. Sometimes emotions sneak up on you, especially in a tricky set up like the kind we're dealing with here. But know, your cover is blown. You're bugging and the end is near. But trust me, it's for the better. He doesn't like you enough and you can't change him. Sorry...just get back on that horse and find a new dude. It's not hard. You have a pussy. Men love those.

 

When it all comes down to it, just be honest with yourself and the dudes you deal with. If you seriously don't want a relationship, men will oblige. If you find your self frustrated, sad or angry at a guy, chances are, you're catching feelings and the chances are, he's not. A good way to see if a guy's intentions are true is to not fuck him. Make him wait a little. If he's really down, he'll have no issue waiting. If he's not down, he'll get bored and go fuck some other bitch.

 

Pretty simple math when you think about it.